My girlfriend and I were in Milan last summer and went to visit the duomo (the big cathedral in the city centre). When we tried to enter, a guard (not sure how else to describe him) started yelling about how my girlfriend wasn’t allowed in unless she covered herself up. She was wearing a sleeveless top, and apparently it’s horrendously disrespectful to have bare shoulders, or too much cleavage on display when you enter a church. So we had to go buy a ratty transparent shawl from a woman nearby so that she could ‘cover up’ and we’d be allowed in.

I’d experienced this sort of thing before: I have some Italian family and whilst over for a Christening some years ago the priest barked ‘Cover yourself up’ at my aunt as he walked into the church on his way to the alter.  Now I know it’s a bit much to expect any kind of rationality from the church, but why on earth would it be offensive to God to have bare shoulders in church.

First of all, God (allegedly) made human beings, he mad bums and willies, he made boobs and fannies; and he knows how they fit together. Why would nakedness offend God? If human’s were made naked, then wouldn’t the offence be wearing clothes? Indeed, isn’t God kinda pissed off that Adam and Eve are suddenly ashamed of their nudity and have covered up? I can just see it now, God wandering into the garden of Eden ‘where’s that Eve? Wanna see me some of those fine breasts I gave her… What the? Why are you covered up!? Dammit!” Saying that you ought to cover up in church out of respect for God is like hiding all the nude paintings an artist has drawn away from him or her so the images don’t offend them. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never managed to offend myself with something I’ve drawn. Why do people have to treat God like a child? Isn’t it just a little bit patronising to the being that you think created the whole universe?

Second, If God is all powerful and all seeing, then he can see your shoulders and boobs (along with everything else) under the shawl and clothes you are wearing (setting aside the fact that the shawls being sold are see through and make no difference whatsoever), so what is the point in covering up? What’s more, God is supposed to be everywhere; I remember once being told that a church isn’t the building, it’s the people that make it up; so, you aren’t stopping God from seeing ‘naughty bits’ anyway, he saw them while you were showering this morning (or do you think he looks away?) Shouldn’t the main drive to be getting people to actually go to church, rather than making sure they are dressed to some arbitrary specification?

It just seems like, as with many of the rules and regulations of the Catholic church, that someone a long time ago who was very scared of his own sexuality and his inability to control a certain part of his body, decided that boobs, along with sex and pretty much all other worldly pleasures, are probably a moral evil and can’ be allowed in church. What utter nonsense.

So I enjoyed writing my first mini-saga-comic (https://vonbandersnatch.wordpress.com/2012/03/10/monkey-and-penguin-window-instead-of-door/) the other day that I decided to write another one for today. I’m not going to lie, this took a lot longer to draw than most of my illustrations, but I think it turned out pretty damn good! I especially like God’s beard, and his disappointed look in the final panel. Hope you like it!

That’s all for today, see you tomorrow! Pip pip.

P.S. I now have twitter! click the link on the left to follow me!

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One response »

  1. Too funny hahahahah I love this post!!!

    hitt me back 🙂 http://saturdayalwayscomes.com/

    ~Saturday

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