One day the tortoise challenged the hare to a race. The hare accepted and sped off laughing at the old reptile.

Halfway through the forest the tortoise’s henchmen ambushed the hare and beat him half to death. The tortoise ambled by saying only:

“Now you know whose forest this is.”


Moral: Know when you are being set up.

Alternative moral: Don’t accept challenges from local mafia dons.

I never really understood the original tortoise and the hare story. The moral is allegedly ‘slow and steady wins the race’ but the tortoise only wins because the hare is a complete tool and decides to stop for a nap instead of just winning outright; being fast wins races, being slow or a complete moron loses them…

(see also

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